12 March 2016

Uppers and Downers! Any Which Way But Forward!

Most people in my backward as fuck town are beside themselves. Been so since 2008 but their besidedness has been given room to grow since then. Gives me an idea of what the fucking Germans, Italians and Japs were thinking when the War they thought was such a Great Idea was turning out like a Canucks' season.

Obama has held the White House for eight long years. Trudeau appears set to be our Prime Minister for decades. Lot of people must be thinking about cashing in their real estate chips and moving to Paraguay with their kin.

On top of that, marijuana, which my town's backward fucks still think of the way they think of fags and wimmin's libbers, is about to corrupt (for good it is feared) this arduous remnant of the rod, the lash, eternal burning and all that good Christian shit.

To illustrate, here is what I heard waiting for my hair to get cut this morning.

"Now it's Trudeau and Obama. I can't fucking stand it. They might as well smoke a joint and bumhole one another on the stage like people used to do in the '60s. Give me Donald Trump and Kevin O'Leary over those commie assholes any day."

My barber raised an eyebrow in my general direction as the Christian shithead's rant, which in total stretched about as long as a Tonight Show monologue, continued, interrupted only by my barber's agreeable grunts, muffled groans and giggles. He knows his shop is a goldmine for commie joint smoking bumholers such as I.


ib said...

Barbershops are where it's at. Often they are my sole contact with some kind of reality.

I plundered that line about bumholing back in the 60s. I could not shake it out of my hair.

They are fucking each other sideways in those caucuses too, I see. Even though they all share a predilection for 18 hole tomfoolery on the Sunday. When every god fearing sod ought to be in church.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Cannot find offence with the plundering - I do enough of it myself for any pirate.

ib said...

I am glad I did not offend you. Burglary is the life for me. As Rat Scabies once exclaimed.

It was one hell of a funny line. Without the embroidery.

Anonymous said...

Burglary and buggery.....Sounds like a Republican convention.